... beats in an uncertain, puzzled rhythm,
slow to change, never in unison
with the requests of its host.
Trapped in turbulence, my gut,
shaken by heart’s dizziness, cycles endlessly from wet
to dry – from predictable to random,
from motility to functionless churning.
My body’s sense of personal posture and location
cannot itself be found.
Limb and trunk muscles exhaust themselves,
each battling for supremacy, while my brain,
fighting protein invaders, forgets to fuel the engines of movement.
Inexorably, the machinery of life deteriorates,
quietly losing
a function here, a movement there.
My eyes miss bits of landscape, busily constructing
what isn’t there from what is.
My sleeper’s mind breaks out of its dream-cage and hijacks
the late-night hours with its own mad dance.
A sailor in a stormy sea, my spirit sags. My soul prepares
for eventual flight. Sleepless, unhappy,
trapped in a fool’s errand of untouchable symptoms
and unlikely treatments, I fall, then crawl
towards the lamp that Hope lights
at the far end of a dark tunnel.
© George Phillips, 2017
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A light at the end of the tunnel Photo by Thomas Quine Kuching, Sarawak, Borneo, Malaysia ~ 2015 from Wikimedia Commons |